Wings of Despair
by Shinigami29
Summary: Yaoi. Knuckles has been living in a world of hatred all his life... but some one wants to help. Will he let them, or will they be pushed away?


Ello peoples! This WILL be a Yaoi piece, so you HAVE been warned. But those of you who don't mind, PLEASE GIVE ME FEED BACK AND INFO TA MAKE BETTER!!! This is only a one shot, because I wanna get better at writing StH fics so that my main StH fic don't suck when I write it. ^_^;; please and thank you? you don't havta if ya don't want though... 

Morder: zey don't have to read if zey don't vant to either. 

Ami: awe... shut up Morder... I know that. Now... on wit the sappiness that I HOPE this will turn out wit! 

Disclaimer: I don't own Sonic the Hedgehog, or the song 'Wings of Despair' by Kamelot. 

**Wings of Despair**

_sometimes my visions  
are distant and vague_

Knuckles' eyes snapped open. His mind had drifted off again... he hated it when that happened. He stood up, and looked around. 

Nothing seemed to be out of the ordinary... 

He sniffed the air, and groaned slightly, but quickly composed himself again. 

_He_ was here... 

He being the one he hated... 

The one he despised... 

The one who he thought about constantly... 

_down at the base  
of the mountain_

His previous thoughts came back to him as he checked behind him. The Master Emerald was still there, safe and sound... but would he in just a few moments? 

He pushed the thoughts out of his head and started down the mountain where his scent was coming from. 

He resisted the urge to his his head once he got down to the bottom of the hill. A wave of Deja Vu hit him. 

_'It is just a coincidence that he's doing just as I was thinking...'_ Knuckles told himself. _'Just a coincidence...'_

He ignored it as his head started to leap, and walked towards him, glaring. 

_once in a while I am  
weak and afraid_

His heart kept on pounding harder and harder with every silent step he took, and he hated it... he hated it all. 

Why did he do this to him? Why did he have to make him hate him more! 

Knuckles ignored his own question and stood still for a moment. He collected himself as he watched him, doing push ups as he counted it out to no one... 

_'Or maybe me?...'_

Knuckles shook his head, and then taking a deep, calming breathe, regained himself. No more pounding heart, no more Deja Vu... 

_tired and sick of it all  
I don't believe  
that my story is set_

"Sonic," Knuckles said evenly. He stopped mid-push up and looked up at Knuckles, a smile gracing his lips. "What are you doing here?" 

"Yo Knucklehead!" Sonic zipped up quickly, and was suddenly in front of him. Knuckles blinked but then surpressed his surpirse and glared at him more. "Can't I come and visit my bud?" 

"You are no 'bud' of mine," Knuckles hissed. "Leave." 

"It's a free Island," Sonic laughed lightly at his own joke. 

"It's also my Island," Knuckles pushed him slightly. "And I'm telling you to leave; you attract trouble too easily." 

_nothing is destined  
or blatant_

"I'm hurt..." Sonic pouted. "And I don't ALWAYS attract trouble..." Knuckles glared at him again. "Okay... okay... but it's not my fault that 'Butnik likes to try to ruin my life!" Knuckles just rolled his eyes and turned to walk back up the mountain. 

"Just leave," he muttered. It was spoken softly, but Sonic still caught it. 

"And what if I don't want to?" he asked. Knuckles stopped. He bit back a sigh and turned to look at him. 

"Do you not see?" Knuckles glared at him more. "You are a weakness I cannot have! Leave now!" Sonic just looked at him for a few moments, and then started to walk up to him. 

_'Keep away...'_ Knuckles willed him to hear his thoughts. _'Just go...'_

"Your not alone Knuckles," Sonic smiled at him and placed a hand on his shoulder. Knuckles was frozen by the electricity that suddenly jolted through him, but raised his fist and punched Sonic's jaw. Sonic was knocked back onto the ground, and groaned. 

Knuckles stood there, shocked at himself. He didn't know why he had done that... 

He watched as Sonic sat there, rubbing away the bit of blood that came when his spiked knuckles hit him... 

_bound to this body  
a world full of hate  
no one will heed if I fall_

"People might care about you Sonic," Knuckles heard himself say. The voice sounded foriegn and full of hatred. "But the only reason that people give a shit about me is the Master Emerald... so just keep away. Your a weakness." 

And he walked away... 

_no one can see it  
but you know that it's there_

_'Why did you do that!'_ Knuckles screamed at himself. _'Why did you hurt him?...'_

_'Why do you care?'_ he heard the answer deep in his mind. 

He didn't answer the question, and sat back down against the wall facing the Master Emerald. He closed his eyes again, and was soon enveloped within dreams and visions that could never be... 

_guiding the steps of your soul  
holding the truth  
in the cross that you bear_

_

**//Dream//**

_

"Knuckles!" Knuckles looked around the forest. It was misty and everything was blurry. "Knuckles!" And that voice... that laughing voice that he knew so well... he smiled and followed it. 

"Knuckles, where are you!" it called out again. He knew who it was... but who? 

"Right here love!" he heard himself call out. The voice laughed again, but seemed to be getting farther away. 

"Come and get me!" it called out to him. Knuckles smiled, and started to run through the forest. He went down a mountain, only to see Sonic there, training. Knuckles stopped, and glared at him. 

"What are you doing here?" Knuckles asked; Sonic only looked up at him, and Knuckles felt his heart start to pound again... 

Sonic stood up, and started to walk towards him... 

**//End//**

_die with a heart that is bold_

Knuckles eyes snapped open again, and he stood up, biting his lip until he could taste his own blood. Glaring down at the floor, he tried to sort through who's voice it was... 

He never did find out. No one really laughed near him... 

Then again, why was Sonic in it? 

"Hey Knucklehead!" Knuckles' gaze snapped up to the entrance, where Sonic was leaning casually against he rocks. "Tut, tut... didn't you hear me? I was making a racket..." Knuckles glared at him again. 

"Didn't I tell you to leave?" Knuckles barked at him. He tried not to look at the bruise on Sonic's jaw, or the blood still there. 

"Awe..." Sonic smirked a little. "Do you really think I would just abandon my buddy?" 

"I'm not your 'buddy'," Knuckles willed him to drop dead. "I would rather die then be your 'buddy'..." 

_fly on the wings of despair  
no one is holding you back_

"You don't mean that..." Sonic said after a minute, lowering his gaze. 

"Why wouldn't I?" Knuckles asked, closing his eyes as he crossed his arms over his chest. 

"You can't hate me that much..." if Knuckles didn't know better, he would of sworn that Sonic was crying... but he knew better. Didn't he? "I mean... sometimes I think you want me dead more then Robotnik does." 

"Maybe I do!" Knuckles yelled at him, glaring. 

_'I hate him?'_ just the thought of it made his stomach hurl, but he couldn't stop his words... 

"Just leave!" Knuckles yelled again. 

_the call of the wild is internal  
conquer the silence you fear_

"No," Sonic locked eyes with him, and Knuckles fought back shock. He was crying... "I've seen the looks you have to yourself... as if your battling yourself. I've seen it before. I've been in battle. What are you so afraid of?" 

The question was unexpected and left Knuckles speechless. Sonic just continued to look at him, eternal crystaline droplets resting within his eyes. 

"What are you afraid of?" he asked against after awhile. Knuckles was the first to look down, and for once, there was no sharp responce. 

He knew what he wanted to say... but could he say it? 

"The..." he paused, swallowing a lump in his throat. "The silence... the loneliness..." 

_tomorrow will not fade to black  
a new day is dawning_

"Then why do you want me to leave?" Sonic asked. Knuckled looked up at him. A million responses to get him to leave burned in his mind, but he pushed them all back. 

_'Might as well finish what I started...'_

_remember  
no one can save you today_

"I spent my whole life hating everyone," Knuckles spoke quietly, hoping maybe he wouldn't hear, but he did. "It was easier then living without friends... Guardian's can't have friends. It's a weakness..." 

"Friends aren't weaknesses," Sonic spoke just as softly, and took a step forwards. "Friends can help you... always..." 

"Don't you think I know that?" Knuckles snapped at him. "But they can't help you if they aren't your friends in the first place!" 

Sonic just looked at him for a minute or two, and then in a flash, was in front of him. Their noses were almost touching. 

Knuckles' heart started to pound again... 

Reacting automatically, he pushed Sonic away, but Sonic caught his fists within his and held them to his chest. He continued to look at him, eyes boring into his. 

_the questions are more  
than the answers I know_

"I can help you if you trust me..." Sonic said, almost to quiet to hear; Knuckles still heard it. "Do you trust me?" 

He didn't know how to answer that... 

Sonic sighed, and looked down. Knuckles was glad... he felt, something, when he looked into his eyes... but he didn't know what. 

"Come with me back to Knothole," Sonic said, stepping away, pulling Knuckles with him. "I can show you that you have friends..." 

_that doesn't mean you are lonely_

Sonic took Knuckles to the side of Angel Island, and then sat down, looking over the edge. 

"Tails won't be here for a few hours yet," he spoke calmly. "So we'll just have to- ACK!" Knuckles grabbed Sonic around the waist and simply jumped off of the Island, letting the wind catch in his quills and keep them airborn as they started to glid down to Modius. "Geez... warn me next time!" 

Sonic turned around in Knuckles' arms and held onto him tightly, and once Knuckles was sure of his hold, he let go of him and let his arms go out, making their decent slow dramatically. 

"AHH!" Sonic panicked when that happened, and held onto Knuckles tighter. "We're over top of WATER!! Are you crazy!" 

"Trust is a two way thing," Knuckles said, little venom in his voice. "And you ask if I trust you..." Sonic went quiet, burying his head into Knuckles' shoulder. 

"Sorry Knux..." he heard him say. "Didn't mean it like that..." Knuckles just ignored him, and continued down to Mobius. 

_searching for more  
consecutive goal's  
making it worth to go on_

_'Why am I doing this?'_ Knuckles asked himself as they landed softly. He waited a moment, enjoying the serenity of everything before pushing Sonic away from him. He caught him again quickly, realising that he had fallen asleep. 

"Pathetic..." he muttered, picking him up. he craddled the blue hedgehog in his arms and looked around, trying to get his bearings. After awhile, he started in the direction he hoped Knothole was in. 

Each step made him feel something... he didn't know what... but... something... 

And it was continuously getting worse... 

Or better? 

_no one can see it  
but you know that it's there_

"Mmm..." Knuckles stopped when he heard that. Looking down at Sonic, he placed him upright and held him up as he started to wake. "Hmm... where are we?" 

"I was hoping you could answer that," Knuckles said truthfully. He was mentally slapping himself for going through with this in the first place... 

_'What were you thinking? You can't trust him!'_

"Mmm... 'Kay..." Sonic stretched, and then stood on his own. "Give me a second..." then he zipped off. Knuckles blinked and then shook his head. 

"Stupid..." he told himself. 

_'You shouldn't of come... you shouldn't of trusted him... you shouldn't love him...'_

Knuckles stopped breathing at that last thought. Love him? No... impossible! Right? 

Then why was he so afraid? 

_guiding the steps of your soul  
holding the truth  
in the cross that you bear_

"Hey!" Knuckles looked up to see Sonic not fifty feet away; he was glad. Didn't have to think about his thoughts now... "Knothole is just a mile or two to the right!" He zipped up next to Knuckles with a smile. "You had us in almost the right direction." Knuckles allowed himself a small grin, and Sonic took his hand. "Hold on tight..." he warned him, and then sped up. Knuckles was taken aback by the speed of everything that went by... 

And suddenly, it was over. 

"Woah..." was all Knuckles could manage to say as he regained his balance and footing on the world. He looked around at Knothole. The little huts were everywhere, and Sonic started to walk through them. Knuckles just followed him, still getting over the effects of travelling two miles in less then three seconds. 

"Sally!" Sonic started yelling as Knuckles caught up to him. "Sally! Where are you!" After a few minutes of this, a small squrril came up to them. 

"Yes Sonic?" she asked. 

"Brought us a guest," Sonic smiled. 

"I saw that," Sally said laughing. Knuckles blinked, and his memory went back to his dream... 

_'No...'_ he thought. _'Not her...'_

_die with a heart that is bold_

"Is there anything you would like Knuckles?" he was snapped back to reality when Sally talked to him. It took him a second to comprehend the question. 

"No," he answered, shaking his head. "Thank you." 

"There must be SOMETHING that you would like," Sonic smiled at him. "Anything I can help you with?" 

_fly on the wings of despair  
no one is holding you back  
the call of the wild is internal_

"Yeah..." Knuckles heard the sneer on his own voice and started to yell at himself. "Beat it." 

Then he turned, and started to walk away. 

_'Damn it...'_ Knuckles gave up. _'He'll hate me forever if I keep this up...'_

"Oh no ya don't..." Someone grabbed onto Knuckles' shoulder, making him stop. "I don't mind you being a sour puss, but your staying. You'll have to learn sooner or later to trust me, we might as well make it sooner." 

Knuckles' heart was soaring, but he didn't let it get the best of him. 

"Fine," he responded grouchily. 

_conquer the silence you fear_

So it went like that... day after day... everyone in Knothole got used to little spars between them that would occasionally happen when Sonic had to physically force Knuckles to stay. 

Today was just another one of those days. 

"I have to go back to my Island," Knuckles hissed at him. Sonic was standing in his way, bleeding and merciless. 

_'Merciless... hmphf... he hasn't even landed a punch yet... I know he can do better then this... why isn't he trying?'_

He knew the answer, but didn't dare to even think it. 

_tomorrow will not fade to black  
a new day is dawning_

Then he did something that Knuckles had never heard him do. 

He laughed. 

Not a chuckle, but a real laugh. 

"That Island is everything to you," he said as he laughed; something clicked in Knuckles' mind, and it almost scared him... "When will you learn that we do keep Robotnik away from it? You've seen the security systems we put up to make sure you don't have to deal with him!" 

_remember  
no one can save you today_

Sonic's words fell on deaf ears. Knuckles had heard the words over and over again, the only thing different was that Sonic had said it, not Sally or Tails. 

Knuckles was thinking about something else... 

Turning around, he went back to his hut. 

"Maybe another day..." Knuckles said simply. 

_you, and you alone  
is forging the path_

He entered the hut that had been givin to him, and sat on his bed. He looked around. There was a desk against the wall, and two doors that led to small out crops to his small room. One was a small bathroom, and the other was a miniture kitchenette. There was also a wardrob on the other side of his bed, beside a window. 

Knuckles sighed. 

"It can't be him... can it?" he muttered to himself. "The person... but... if it is... then I've been lying to myself all this time?" 

He stood up, and pushing his quills out of his face, paced the room. 

_'There must be a way to find out for sure...'_

Making up his mind, he sat down on his bed. _'But how?'_

"Yo! Knux! You in here!" he looked at the curtained entrance to his hut, and debated whether or not to answer. Before he could, Sonic entered. "Oh, there you are," Sonic smiled at him lopesidedly. "Was wondering where you got to... So... do you trust me yet?" 

"Why don't you ever fight back?" Knuckles asked, avoiding the question. Sonic blinked. 

"What?" he sat down next to Knuckles. 

"Whenever we fight," Knuckles looked to the ground. "You always let me hurt you... you never actually fight back..." 

"Why would I?" Sonic asked, quiet, as if there something that he was looking for. Knuckles thought back to the many times he used this tone. 

_'He only speaks like that if I'm speaking of him...'_

He tried to prove his words wrong, by thinking of all the times he had said something about Sally or Tails or Amy or anyone else from Knothole. 

Sonic had only chuckled and commented about one thing or another. 

"Sonic..." Knuckles bit his tongue; what did he want to say? 

"Yes?" Sonic asked. He sounded almost... eager to hear what he had to say. It was the first time that Knuckles had ever noticed, but now that he thought about it... he sounded like that a lot. 

"Nothing," Knuckles stood up and started to leave. 

"Where are you going?" Sonic asked, getting up too but standing still. Knuckles stopped for a moment at the entrance, but didn't look back. 

"I don't know..." he answered truthfully, and then continued. Knuckles had only just walked into he forest when Sonic appeared in front of him. Knuckles almost ran into him, and backed up a step. 

"How many times must I tell you," Sonic said stubbornly; Knuckles once again, noticed something. Along with the slightly mocking tone in his voice, there was an unbearable sadness and hurt in his eyes... "You are STAYING." 

"I'll only cause you more pain," Knuckles said simply. He didn't know why he said it, but unlike other times when he said stuff he didn't think about, this felt... right. Sort of. "You don't need more pain... too many people look up to you." 

"Knuc-" Sonic was silenced as Knuckles did something that neither of them expected... 

He kissed him... 

His heart was pounding, but for once, he didn't push the cause of it away; rather, he pulled him forward for a moment... 

Then he pushed away. 

Looking at Sonic, he saw the shock in his eyes, and something else... knowing he must of done something wrong, he started to run as fast as he could. 

After a minute, he ran into something. He looked up to see Sonic. 

_'Damn it... why did I fall in love with the fastest being on the planet?'_

It was there again... that word... 

Love. 

"Why did you kiss me?" Sonic asked. 

"Why don't you ever fight back?" Knuckles said, that being the first thing that came to his mind. 

"Because," Sonic smiled, as if pleased about something. He held out his hand to help Knuckles up, and hesitantly, he took it. He looked down slightly at Sonic, and saw that the 'something' in his eyes beaming out at him. "Because I love you..." 

_leave your sorrows with the past_

For once, the pounding stopping on it's own. The world and all the sounds seemed to stopped, and Knuckles could swear that he had died and gone to heaven. 

Now all he had to do was tell Sonic... 

"I..." he choking on the words; they brought the world crushing back to him, suffocating him. Looking at Sonic, he tried his hardest to say 'I love you'... but couldn't. "I've got to get back to my Island..." 

He pushed past Sonic, who turned around to watch him leave. Knuckles knew he did. He felt his eyes boring into his back. Then suddenly, he was in front of him again... 

_never believe  
that the story is set  
nothing is destined  
or blatant_

"Come on Knuckles..." he smiled at him. "Lets go back home." 

"I _am_ going home," Knuckles wanted to slap himself; he hated that tone... hated using that tone... expecially on Sonic... 

But when had he started to love Sonic? 

_bound to this body  
a world full of hate_

"Home is where the heart is," Sonic smiled knowingly, and started to pull Knuckles back to Knothole. 

"Guardian's don't have hearts," Knuckles hissed. 

"Then I'll just have to give you one..." Sonic stopped and turned to him, still smiling. Then leaning forwards, he kissed him gently, teasingly. 

He pulled away leaving Knuckles wanted more. 

_no one will heed if you fall_

"A heart, huh?" Knuckles stepped back a bit. "I don't think I deserve one... no one really cares." 

"I care, you silly echidna," Sonic laughed again, and leaned in for another kiss, pulling away just as fast as before. 

"But won't everyone think that you have fallen under the clutches of a mindless and brutal bastard?" Knuckles asked, taking another step away. 

"That's because I have," Sonic smirked. "Fallen head over heels... and frankly, they don't give a shit at all. Hell, I wouldn't be surprised if the entire village passed by without saying a word..." 

Knuckles looked at him. 

"I don' believe you..." was all he could say. And with that, he started to walk away again. Sonic sighed. 

"I care Knuckles," Sonic called after him. "I care... but I can't run after you forever." Knuckles stopped, but Sonic was heading back to Knothole. Biting his lip, Knuckles closed his eyes and raised his face towards the skies. 

"Home is where the heart is..." he breathed. "But what is home to one without a heart?" 

_'With him...'_

Breathing deeply, Knuckles gave the direction of his Island one last look, and then started to run after Sonic. 

_~Owari_


End file.
